Self-Help Information: How to Help a Friend with an Eating Disorder
If you and others
have observed behaviors in your friend or roommate that are
suggestive of an eating disorder, you are in a position to help.
Make a plan to approach the person in a
private place when there is time to talk and no immediate stress
is present.
Present what you have observed and what
your concerns are in a caring but straightforward way. Tell him
or her that you are worried and want to help. (Friends who are
too angry with the person to talk supportively should not be a
part of this discussion.)
Give the person time to talk and
encourage them to express their feelings. Ask clarifying
questions. Listen carefully; accept what is said in a
non-judgmental manner.
Do not argue about whether there is or is
not a problem – power struggles are not helpful. Perhaps you can
say, "I hear what you are saying and I hope you are right that
this is not a problem. But I am still very worried about what I
have seen and heard, and that is not going to go away."
Provide information about resources for
treatment. Offer to go with the person and wait while they have
their first appointment with a counselor, doctor, or
nutritionist. Ask them to consider going for one appointment
before they make a decision about ongoing treatment.
If you are concerned that the eating
disorder is severe or life threatening, enlist the help of a
doctor, therapist, counseling center, relative, friend, or
roommate of the person before you intervene. Present a united
and supportive front with others.
If the person denies the problem, becomes
angry, or refuses treatment, understand that this is often part
of the illness. Besides, they have a right to refuse treatment
(unless their life is in danger). You may feel helpless, angry,
and frustrated with them. You might say, "I know you can refuse
to go for help, but that will not stop me from worrying about
you or caring about you. I may bring this up again to you later,
and maybe we can talk more about it then." Follow through on
that – and on any other promise you make.
Do not try to be a hero or a rescuer; you
will probably be resented. If you do the best you can to help on
several occasions and the person does not accept it, stop.
Remind yourself you have done all it is reasonable to do. Eating
disorders are stubborn problems, and treatment is most effective
when the person is truly ready for it. You may have planted a
seed that helps them get ready.
Eating disorders are usually not
emergency situations. But, if the person is suicidal or
otherwise in serious danger, get professional help immediately!
(The above material was adapted from
material produced by Dr. Herrin, Dr. Fishman, and Eating Disorder
and Prevention, Inc.)
Need Additional Help?
Washington State University College of Veterinary Medicine
Counseling and Wellness Services offer free individual counseling for these
and related issues for veterinary students (WSU Veterinary Students ONLY).
For more information or to schedule an appointment call or e-mail:
Carolyn Wyatt PhD
ADBF 1035
335-0774
cwyatt@vetmed.wsu.edu
NOTE: The information contained in these self help
documents is not to be used as a substitute for professional care. Neither
the authors, Washington State University nor the College of Veterinary
Medicine assume liability for injury incurred by following the information
presented in these self-help documents
Last Edited: Mar 07, 2007 2:42 PM
