On Christmas Eve 2002, my (now) husband and his daughter drove 5
hours from home to surprise me with an English Bulldog puppy. I grew
up with bulldogs and kept saying that I would get one when I could
afford it. We had been dating for 6 months, and had 5 children
between us. My 18 year old stepdaughter suggested the name "Holly"
to signify Christmas. She became our baby. Holly was the sweetest
dog I've ever known. Her whole body wiggled with happiness--and her
favorite place to sit was on a foot--anyone's foot. We used to play
tricks on her by putting empty shoes near her and she would back up
until she was in line with the shoe and sit on it. You learned never
to go barefoot around Holly!
She traveled regularly with us on car rides that lasted from 3 to 14
hours. She drank water from a bottle. Everyone has a pet that is the
"one". The pet that takes over your heart--Holly was it. She
represented the most thoughtful and generous gift anyone ever gave
me; we got married on Christmas Day 2004 on our front porch; Holly
had been with us 2 years. Holly had 3 eye surgeries and was finally
comfortable. I thought it would be smooth sailing from then on. Then
on June 28, 2005 she skipped breakfast and dinner. I knew something
was up and took her to the vet where we realized she was jaundiced.
Then next night the vet confirmed the unthinkable-that Holly had
liver cancer and it may have spread to her kidneys and lymph nodes
by now. Just 6 months earlier, she had a clear ultrasound.
We were devastated. I couldn't put her through surgery or chemo, it
would not have prolonged her life much, and it would have made her
last weeks dreadful. She was my baby. We never stopped calling her
"puppy". I had her on 3 medications and a dozen or so natural
remedies a day,and a special diet. I wanted her to be happy and pain
free until the end. 3 days ago, on August 4, 2005 I had to put my
baby to sleep. I held her while she passed and felt my heart break.
I've never felt such pain in my life. She can never be replaced. I
just want to hug her again, and rub her soft ears. I want to hear
her snore; I know her spirit lives on. I know she is in a better
place, but to only have her for 2 1/2 years is unbearable. I look at
her picture and she seems to be looking back at me. I can't find
words to describe my feelings.
We love you Holly pup, and if nothing else, we know that you felt
that love. So many friends and children have cried for you; were so
special and will always be in our hearts-even after I stop crying
myself to sleep every night,